Miranda’s Story – update

By madcaff|October 26, 2016Uncategorized|5 comments

Thank you to everyone who came to MaDCaff and made it another very special occasion. A few people asked me why I didn’t play….This was partly because there were so many of you wanting to perform but also, I was actually recovering from a rotten cold.

As usual there are so many things I wanted to say but forgot to in the moment and maybe also because talking about mental health isn’t always easy!

So here is what I’d like to say….

Last year was perhaps the worst year of my life. After staggering between depression and hypomania for a few years, I was knocked into a deep depression which lasted almost a year. I was under the duvet for 23 hours a day and for a large part of the time, wished I was dead. I had cut off from virtually everyone in my life and was spiralling down further day by day, desperate to end the constant and crippling pain I was in. I was suicidal for many months, and made a serious attempt at taking my life during this time

It’s hard for even me reading this to believe it’s possible to get to this point in life, but it’s surprisingly easy. Any one of us can be hit by mental illness at any time. Indeed, statistics tell us one in four will experience mental illness in our lives.

My point in telling you a this is manyfold…Firstly, to end the stigma and discrimination surrounding mental health, and bust the many myths still prevelent in our communities. But also, on a positive note, to show you that recovery is possible!

Six months ago, at the tail end of my major depressive episode I voluntarily hospitalised myself….It was the beginning of my journey back to well being.


The write up and photos from our most recent MaDCaff will be online soon, I’m travelling at the moment.

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  1. i want to say something but i don’t know what to say. keep going, one day at a time!

  2. Thank you for sharing this, takes a particular kind of courage to admit how bad it’s been. I’ve experienced suicidal periods in my life, and after I can hardly believe I could get that low..truly not in my right mind! Much love to you and all fellow travellers on this sometimes rocky road. ❤

  3. we cant get rid of it but we can learn about it and try and live with it as best as we can.ive had a manic few months which led me to after skipping medication commit crime and end up in court am now getting treatment plus two near fatal car crashes in under two months really fucked my head up.so after all the savagery and suicidal thoughts of fuck life and living like a yo yo,im still here so all good.all the family wanted to help but it wasn’t possible it was something you had to deal with in your own time I understand and love you my lovely big sister. I love you xx

  4. You will go from strength to strength, Miranda. Such courage as you show here will find its way as support for going on.
    Top regards,

  5. I looked after miranda for the period of her depression and it was a truly different miranda that I was seeing compared to the loving caring person that I knew. There is a warning for anyone who takes on this kind of task, it will take its toll on your own mental health, which may not be appreciated by many, including the person you are caring for. I myself developed panic attacks, mainly at night with self destructive side effects, and until it is eventually treated it remains with me. But don’t be put off caring by my story because despite everything ,I would do the same again just to see a well miranda.

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